What is a Womens Circle anyway?

Describing the experience of sitting in a Women's Circle is like attempting to capture the magic of a sunset in words to offer someone who can not see, or finding words to deliver the taste and texture of fine chocolate to the palette of someone who has never had such pleasure.

I am asked the question, "What is a Women's Circle anyway?" a lot these days, and my first thought is, "Just come. Come experience it for yourself, because words have not yet been invented to do it justice." 

However, some people require more convincing than just that. So this post is for all of you!

A woman's Circle is an ancient way women have gathered to work, create, visit, dance, pray, grieve, celebrate, and be in council and community. As far as history and herstory have record of and undoubtedly before then, Circles have served humanity.

It is only in recent times we have changed the format, and so we have suffered. When women view one another as competition and as a threat, we rob ourselves of the gift of sisterhood. Sacred Circle is one of the ways we heal that wound and see one another with new eyes and an open heart.

When I sit in Circle I can see into each woman's eyes. I see her unique beauty, vulnerability, and her power. 

As I hold the stone, I am invited to speak my truth. There is no hurry, I do not have to think ahead of time what it is I "should" say. I can ask myself, "what wants to be said now?" and wait for the words to come to me. Often I am surprised by what comes out of my mouth. There is no agenda or expectation. 

I have relief knowing whatever I say is ok. There will be no feedback, no one offering solutions, or referrals. The Circle is safe, confidential, it is it's own covenant. My authenticity has space to exist. I learn about my essential self as I listen to my own voice with curiosity. At times I pass the stone and honor the voice of my own silence. This is a place free from judgement, especially my own self judgement.

We are a mirror for one another. My sisters speak and I remember we are the same. I empathize with her, and so I have empathy for me. Sometimes I slip into judgement and arrogantly believe I know what's best for her, what she should do, ha!  I sense the tension and contraction in my body, I release this notion that I know best, and return to open loving presence. What a relief, it isn't up to me to fix it! I learn to listen earnestly with my whole being. I stay curious and keep returning to a place of no judgment. This practice alone has made me a better mother, spouse, coach, facilitator and friend. 

In Circle we invite wisdom to come to us and through us, and it does! Circle has become one of my greatest teachers. Circle says, "Come, show up, and be exactly who you are, exactly where you are in your life in this very moment. It is ok. Just be as you are."

My mission is to set the feminine free! The work I do invites women to step into their leadership. Holding space for women to gather and return to Circle is one of many aspects of feminine leadership we offer. 

Look for a Women's Circle in your area, or if you're interested in starting your own contact me. I'd love to support you. Remember, when sleeping women wake, mountains will move!

"The fundamentals of spirituality connect us rather than separate us. Women meeting in circles with a spiritual center are in a sacred space, are practicing and developing compassion when they listen, and are deepening themselves.  The more circles there are, the easier others can form. At the same time, each circle adds to collective human consciousness. Each one is one more on the way toward the metaphoric 

millionth circle and the end of patriarchy".  ~ Dr Jean Shinoda Bolen.

My Body, My Guide

Life is such an ironic trickster, wouldn't you say?


Once again I'm brought face to face with walking my talk. The old saying you have to "live it, to give it" just dropped by for an excruciating visit last week.


I am a Life&Body Coach. I help guide people who are stuck in their head back home to the wisdom of their bodies. I like to boldly imagine that, I too heed the wisdom of my own body. *Ahem* Let's just say there are varying degrees of listening.


At the end of a life altering, super expansive week facilitating  Sacred Sensual Splendor in Mexico, my body was humming with pleasure. In fact I was unable to find anything other than pure pleasure tingling and pulsing in every cell. It was the first time in more than a decade I could recall such a clear message from my body. It seemed to be saying, "Thank you! Finally you're in full alignment with your divine purpose!"


I've been on a plan of methodical transition from 20 years of working in my barbershop to working full time as a Coach and Vividly Woman facilitator. As my business has grown I have released barbershop days one by one. And I've been down to just one day a week.


In those 20 years I have given toddlers their first haircuts, cheered when, as young children they lost their first teeth, celebrated when these teens graduated high school, and smiled as they return home from college to introduce me to their girlfriends (and sometimes boyfriends). I have held those who have just lost their spouses, consoled and congratulated people through all sorts of life changes. I have come to love my clientele. They are another family, they are my friends.


For quite awhile now my back has been the loudest voice of my body.


In 1982, my 5th grade freedom was rudely interrupted by the corseting of the "Boston body brace".  It would be worn 23 hours a day for the next six years of my adolescent life. I was warned about my "bad back"and the pain and or possible disability in my adulthood. Little did I know my spine was to be one of my greatest teachers over and over again.


Last Wednesday was my first day returning to the barbershop after Mexico bliss. My back started talking the second I laid hands on my first client of the day. Quick jabbing pains and tightening that took my breath away let me know something was not ok. By the end of the day I lay on the barbershop floor in tears, unable to get myself into my car.


I'd been in a familiar cycle for several months now. It went something like this: My body feels great while I'm coaching and facilitating workshops, dance, and Yoga. I barber all day Wednesday and as a result, Thurs-Sat my back aches. I receive regular chiropractic, massage, and acupuncture, by Sun it's feeling good again. I had a hundred reasons why I needed to be barbering on Wednesday and managed to blind myself to this cycle until last week when the truth was louder than all my reasoning.


"Hey Body Coach, get out of your head!" I am listening now. My body is no longer being built to barber.


I have a whirlwind of emotions going on today as I stay home on my first Wednesday. It's one thing to talk about retiring, it's another to do it.


Today I feel a little bewildered, like I have a lot of space and I'm dizzy with possibility. I feel sad, I sense grief in my entire chest and upper back. I feel relieved, and I sense that in my shoulders, stomach, and temples.


This is where the rubber meets the road. To trust even though this is not in the plan. I say farewell to my loyal barbershop clients, the safety of my old livelihood, and the pain in my body. Today I embrace my potential. I step off into faith and know that only one of two things will happen....


I'll either touch down on solid ground, or I will fly!

Magic formula for the New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

resolution |ˌrezəˈloō sh ən|

noun

1 a firm decision to do or not to do something :  a New Year's resolution.

intention |inˈten ch ən|

noun

1 a thing intended; an aim or plan . • ( one's intentions) a person's designs.

goal |gōl|

noun

•  the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result : going to law school has become the most important goal in his life.

• the destination of a journey.

 Ask yourself these questions:

1)   Where do I want to be in my life next year?

2)   What kinds of things do I see myself doing?

3)   What areas of my life have I been neglecting?

4)   Am I happy in my relationship?

5)   Am I happy in my home?

6)   Am I happy in my career?

Now that you’ve got the mental pot stirred up…

Take 5 minutes to brain storm, write freely about the changes you feel inspired to consider. Don’t over think it. You can not do it wrong, just go for it, let er rip!

Now for the magic formula: 

Mental: Some of what you wrote is going to be trash, and as you wade through the trash you’ll find some gems. Jot down what feels most important to you. Pay attention to the wording. Focus on what you are moving toward, rather what you are leaving behind.

Ex: I am quitting my job.

OR

I am starting a new exciting job that I love in the field of (insert your data), on or before (insert date)!

Emotional : Check in, say the goal out loud, how does it FEEL? If it feels like B.S., it’ll never happen. Adjust it, keep it realistic, keep tweaking it until it feels possible. Add  language that ignites you. Dress it up with adjectives and adverbs that bring your emotions to life.

Ex: I am going to travel more this year.

 OR

I am traveling to Troncones, Mexico and attending that awesome retreat, “Sacred Sensual Splendor”, everyone’s been raving about. I’m going to swim in warm water, body surf, dance, play on a beautiful open beach, and eat gourmet authentic Mexican cuisine!

Feel the difference?

Spiritual: Spend a few minutes letting the dust of the day settle. Just breathe. If you notice your mind chattering away, just observe, don’t believe it, judge, it, or try to stop it. Let your belly swell with air and draw your belly button back into your spine, exhale nice and loud with a sigh.

Let the waters of your being calm down. Think of a stormy raging ocean, that being the stress we hold onto. You could throw a semi truck into it that water and no one would notice.

Visualize and feel the waters calming. See a clear placid pond. Even a tiny pebble tossed in would be heard, as the tiny waves ripple out across the water.

That is the difference of 2 inner states of being. When you are distracted or stressed your intention is swallowed by the storm from within.

If you take a few minutes to rest, breathe, and become centered, your intention is noticed. It’s vibration ripples through you and out into the universe.

Each day take a few minutes to center yourself.

Gratitude is a key ingredient! Pause to gratefully notice all that is working. Take inventory of everything that is going well.

 Review your intentions. Visualize your results. Be sure to feel your success. Emotions energize your intentions and remind you of why this is important to you!

I like to think of this as setting your GPS or recalibrating each day. This keeps your intentions in your field awareness. When opportunity arises you’re awake to take action.

Develop a practice of taking at least 5 minutes each day to do this. If you miss a day, oh well. Start again. This will be the single most important intention or resolution you will ever cultivate in your life!

Your thoughts + emotions + actions = results!

Question of the day: What is the most important thing I can do today to align with my intentions?

Do that 1 thing. Each day,  just one thing. Small sustainable steps will keep you from burning out.

Remember it’s about the journey. It has to be enjoyable if you’re going to stick with it!

Take a look at what is working in your life. Celebrate your successes! Success breeds success. What you focus on grows!

Happy New Year!