This Is Not My Beautiful Life!

It was in the space between waking and dream, tangled and tripping on the thin veils that define the two realities, when I stubbed my toe on an old rotting stump of a memory.

It was cold tile slick with my snot and tears, I was gagging on the mediocrity of my life. "How did this happen to me?" Even more disturbing was the lack any real proof or permission to feel this way.

I had a successful and thriving business, a healthy child, a relationship free of infidelity, physical abuse, etc. I chose to work 3 days a week. I had a loving supportive family to watch my son. My Yoga practice was consistent and strong. I had plenty of time to cook, paint, write, hike...

Why had this life become too small, so intolerable? What was this growing resistance inside of me? Why was I insistent on more?

That day I screamed it out loud to my shower curtain, to the gods of plenty, (and apparently to a neighbor who came over later to check on me) "THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE! I WANT AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE! NO MORE MEDIOCRITY, ENOUGH!!! I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REALLY LIVE MY LIFE!" over and over and over again.

(The next day in Yoga class my left hip was magically opened. The hip that I had all but given up on. That's another story for another time.)

8 years later, this morning, I leapt out of bed... The awareness of that declaration made manifest. I was thrust into this truth: I am doing it. I have been slowly but surely creating, cultivating, growing, nurturing my beautiful life. It is extraordinary. I have released what no longer served me, upgraded from mediocrity, I surrendered and birthed a whole other me, that was asking to be born.

My days are rich with deep connection. I am in meaningful service and PLAY! I have amazing communities of sisters, dancers, coaches, artists, and mentors! I get to dance almost everyday! I love my body, finally! I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, and I love them!

How did I get to be this lucky?

Wait I'm not done...there's more!

This Thursday I am leaving to spend more than a week in Troncones, Mexico. I will be in Circle with my Vividly Woman Community! Dancing, playing, swimming and soaking in Sacred Sensual Splendor. www.vividlywoman.com

This isn't luck. It is intention, it is saying Yes to my heart's desires. I am powerful in my life.

We are powerful in our lives. I choose to be extraordinary! Did you hear that? We can choose the extraordinary!

Tell me, are you living YOUR beautiful life?

Come as you Are

Come to us however you are.
Come whole.
Come broken.
Come and gather your pieces here.

Bring your heart and mind and soul, and know that we hold space for you.

If you are stuck, sit in the center of us, and we will buoy you forward, like a lifeboat on the tide. Even if four of us are stuck, we are strong enough. Even if half of us are stuck or hurt, we are strong enough. Even if ALL but one are unable to move, that one is strong enough.

And if we were all unable to move, every one of us broken or scared or stuck, we would join arms, look upward to the Great One, and scream. We would reclaim our power, as one, and then each take it with us, back to our lives. Our ferocity.

So come if you are RADIANT. So radiant you're afraid to blind us!
And come if you are in shadows, so shadowed you're afraid to mar us.
Come. However you are, BE WITH US. Be here, in our circle.

Because we are a circle that meets and holds one another -
with golden shimmering ties of love -
that neither time nor distance can efface.

May LOVE hold us and buoy us forward, beating hearts of sisterhood. RIGHT at this moment, beating. Living. Hands held for our lifetimes.

guest blogger Mary Agnes Antonopoulos

Mary Agnes Antonopoulos, Vividly Woman Leader Sister, is a writer and social media expert and coach.

RockAwayWriter.com

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