"You're not the boss of me!" That was my default defense mantra. "Life is precious, I want to live an extraordinary life not a dull one filled with schedules and rules!"
Time was especially a sore spot. I refused to be shackled to this manmade prison of time and calendar. I experienced a perverse sort of high at making others wait on me, or not showing up at all. A triumphant "So there!" Looking back I shudder at this unconscious lack of respect for my friends and family.
It was my husband, boyfriend at the time, who illustrated the point in a way that dropped to me my knees. After waiting for me AGAIN.... he gently and sternly explained his frustration.
"You say life is precious, you don't want to waste it, yet every time I am waiting for you and you do not show up or are late.... you are wasting my life!"
OMG! He was right.
I look back on the enormous amount of free time and freedom I allotted myself, and the whole lot of nothing I completed. Since accepting timelines, scheduling, and structure I have achieved amazing results! Who knew??? (Apparently successful people everywhere). When I am scheduling and creating form I actually have more time for art, dance, and play. Freedom thrives on form!
I now see the yin yang balance of it. The structure of time, boundaries, form and discipline is a loom. My freedom, creativity, and passion are the colorful threads that I weave upon this loom, I love this tapestry I am creating!
