Oh my, I found her. I had forgotten all about her.
I had to be in sick in a beach front bed in Troncones, Mexico to find her. My dreams came lucid and lurid repeating themselves and tormenting me with shadows that day.
In between dreams and coughing fits I frantically scribbled words that seemed like nonsense, but willful in their urgency to find paper.
For months I'd been aching, longing for something more. My foundation was shifting and what satiated me this last decade now left me parched.
Some of you have known me through the decades. You may remember the wild child I was. I've got so many compliments on the ways I've tamed myself, settled down, became trustworthy and reliable. It's true, I'm on time now. I call people back. I rarely find myself roaming hillsides basking in a psychedelic glow anymore. A lot of that feels good. And yet there has been a compromise. That day of sickness and the torrent of dreams roused my inner wild woman out of her slumber. She felt like a cool salve on the burning skin of my longing I've had for more. The inspecting, blaming, and second guessing I've done in every domain of my life brought no answers only judgements. Without logic or expectation she invited me to lay on the beach at night, sing to the stars, and remember the soft animal of my being. So I did.
It's a homecoming, that whispers of full moons, fires, dirt under fingernails, and tangled hair.
The morning after I met my friend Ignacio on the beach. I asked to see the jewelry he makes. I wanted to buy a ring to honor this part of me. One ring picked me. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen. I asked him how much. He told me, "Keep it. It is your ring."
Tonight is the full moon. I'm back in Washington, it's cool and wet. It's a beautiful night for a welcome back ritual!
