The Changeling and Other Stuff (your dying to read about)

Uh oh... I'm brand new all over again. Put your seat belt on sista, here we go!

In this continual (and somewhat narcissistic) journey of Self discovery, I keep trying to figure me out. Right? Cuz then I'll be able to predict my next move, and stop being such a neurotic mystery.

 Each time I start to get it, to get me, the floor falls out from underneath me. What was solid sparkling truth yesterday is suddenly a tattered comic strip taped to an old woman's fridge.

Excuse me Morpheus, how many red pills was I supposed to take?

Remember when life was divvied up into 3 neat and tidy piles?
The good, the bad, and whatevs, the latter hardly counted and the polarity of the other two was just plain comforting. Hell or heaven, angel or demon, democrat or republican, right or wrong, you get the gist. The simplicity meant that my side was always good, right, and worthy. It was so easy to be an indignant victim in this paradigm.

Over the years I've done things I swore I'd never do. I've broke the holiest of promises and failed beyond my wildest dreams. Those nice tidy piles? Well they look more like my laundry room floor on wash day.

Today this is what I now suspect to be true (read it quick, at the rate I'm changing I might decide it's all garbage tomorrow)...

1.) Everything is a story. So make up a good one. One you really like.

2.) Nothing is personal. Everything is an opportunity to heal, to grow, and to forgive.

3.) This time on Earth is a mystery. Stop trying to figure it all out and start enjoying your time here! 

4.) You have a body, stop judging it and start using it to experience pleasure.  Let your body be art, decorate yourself in a way that pleases you. Eat really delicious food slowly and moan! Have all kinds of sex often and laugh sometimes while your doing it. (yeah I just said "doing it"). Dance when no one else is. Hug! Give nice warm close hugs, not those half ass frigid, "I can't wait to get away from you" excuses for hugs. For god sake snuggle more! (Snuggling is really just horizontal whole body hugging.)

5.) Ask for what you want. It's always worth a shot.

That's it. That's all I got for truth today... oh maybe one more kernel.

All there is, is change. What if I became the change I'm resisting? What if it was okay to have really great questions and none of the answers? 

What if I just exhaled and decided to enjoy the ride?








 

Holy, Worthy, Significant!

Photo By Jennifer Wowak

You will lose everything. Your money, your power, your fame, your success, perhaps even your memories. Your looks will go. Loved ones will die. Your body will fall apart. Everything that seems permanent is impermanent and will be smashed. Experience will gradually, or not so gradually, strip away everything that it can strip away. Waking up means facing this reality with open eyes and no longer turning away.

But right now, we stand on sacred and holy ground, for that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realising this is the key to unspeakable joy. Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you. This may sound trivial, obvious, like nothing, but really it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence. Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude.

Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar. 

- Jeff Foster