I keep
reading about unconditional love, and I feel the need to share an ever-emerging
uhoh.
There is no
such thing as conditional love. Bummer #1 folks, here it is: When there are
conditions all over your love, ahem it’s no longer love. That’s a real pisser,
huh?!
While I’m on
the topic, newsflash to all of us (especially me, always to me, hear that Self?
Yeah I’m talking to you.) There is no love shortage!
Why do I
withhold my love? Is there some love drought and I need to be conserving? Or
maybe there is a test, and only the loveliest, kindest, most compassionate
beings make the grade. (Bummer #2: Turns out the easiest people to love are
usually those in the least need of it. They’re tanks are pretty full, hence the
loveliness.)
Apparently I
thought someone appointed me to be the hotshot decider, director, and dispenser
of love. You have to work for my love, work hard for it. You must toil all day in the hot dusty love
fields. Did you get my updated rules and regulations of love? Go away I’m no longer
accepting your counterfeit Love vouchers. They don’t bear the certification
stamp of my philosophy, income bracket, religion,
politics, race, sexual orientation, etc., just get out!
Let’s up the
ante and go with the old biblical saying, “God is Love”. What happens now when
I block Love? Oops I’m blocking God. (She had to bring in God and make it all
religious.) Well shit.
Stay with
me, let’s examine it through the Christian religious lens (only because that is
the one I’m most versed in.) Jesus threw down some pretty tough stuff in his
day. Crazy notions like, (some might even go so far as to call them
commandments) no really guys, this one is supremely important, listen up, this
is where it gets tricky, where your actions speak louder than your words. This
is where the rubber meet the road, where you walk your talk, where you better live
it to give it…Ready?
“LOVE your
enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for
them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Doh. Don’t be mad at me.
He said it, I didn’t. Kick in the self-righteous ass, huh?
Who are my
enemies? At first I say no one. Then I stop lying, off the top of my head I’d
say: racists, corporate money mongers, environmental destroyers, human rights
oppressors, and sadly the list goes on. Okay I have my work cut out for me.
Instead of ranting and screaming in their faces, instead of blowing them up and
breaking their war toys, rather than posting my own anti-THEM memes all over FB,
I’m supposed to L.O.V.E. them? Yeah, I agree that’s a tough pill to slide down
my hypocritical throat.
Okay shake
off the religion if I got any on ya. Let’s dial it down a notch and just talk
about the less horrible people in our lives, the people we kind of already
love: Our family, friends, children, spouses, those sorts. When I do a love
check up to see if there are any leaks in my love hoses, if I need new filters, you know a general love lube and oil change, *wince* I’m frankly
shocked and embarrassed. Without examination it’s easy for me to assume I am
the greatest, most benevolent, love generator of all time. Underneath that is another
reality, which repeatedly turns up incongruent with my ego’s self glorified version.
Truth be told, a lot of the time I suck at loving. If you’re in my life and you
didn’t call me back I might just make up a story in which you are the evil
agent of all darkness and suffering here to snuff the light out of me,
(especially if you are my husband not calling or texting me). Or the way my “love”
suddenly jack knifes when my 19yr old son lights up a cigarette, wth? This one
is a fave, brace yourself. I have certain members of my family who want to vote
for Drumpf. Who can love that??? Help!
As far as I
can tell, Love isn’t something in us. Love is everywhere all the time. Love
creates us. It is us. It is all the
space between us. We can’t stop it or make it go away, we can only deny it. The
moment we do, we are in suffering, separation, loneliness, greed, jealousy,
hate, despair,… you fill in the blank.
I don’t have
the answers, just some questions worth asking yourself, questions I am
regularly asking myself. Here they are. You’re welcome to use them.
1.) What does it mean to truly love?
2.) How can I be even more loving right now?
3.) What might happen if I chose love right now
(instead of this other thing uncomfortable thing I’m doing?)
4.) Where am I denying Love, (where am I denying
God?)
I
say I want peace. If I truly want peace, where do I start, if not within my own
loving heart and home? Busted.
