However as I look back on my progress I notice something I call the "start and stop syndrome". Maybe you can relate...
I come on strong, taking the bull by the horns, kicking some proverbial ass. Right up until I'm yawning, bored, distracted, scared, wary, confused, or what have you. This cycle has prevailed for years in some way, shape or form.
I'm done excusing this as "just the way things go." As I examine it further, putting it under the microscope of mindfulness it looks like this:
On the highway of life some cars are totally stalled out, even abandoned. Some have flat tires. Others are driving blindly down the road with a tarp on their windshield crashing into anything in their way. I see cars that are too insecure to even leave the garage. Then I see mine, like someone just learning to drive a clutch. Lurching forward, engine revving, blasting ahead other times killing it and starting over again. Over the years I've made lots of headway, but lordie what a jerky ride!
I get that there is always going to be stop lights along the way. My focus right now is just making graceful transitions through the gears. Keep reading and I'll tell you my simple 3 step plan! (I said simple, not easy.)
1.) Small steps = sustainable = smooth ride
I know I'm sick of me preaching about the small steps thing too, but damnit it's true!
Quit taking on so much at once. Pick one small thing and master it. Let the shift become habit. When it's the new default, then move on to the next thing.
2.) Polish the old victories
We all forget. I forget, you forget. Ask yourself, "Where have I already succeeded?" Make a list. Go ahead pat yourself on the back, prance around a little. Then go back and double check that list to see if you're still effectively rocking those things. (I just did that with flossing and found I needed to re-establish my dental dogma.)
Evidence of past victories reminds you that you are in fact, a capable bad ass!
3.) Just For Today
I think AA uses this one a lot. Don't worry about next week or 2 years from now. What are you doing today? Are you staying present? Are you doing your best right now in this moment? There's nothing like overwhelm to extinguish your fire, make you quit before you even start. So don't go there, be here now!
Yeah that's me cruising along in my smooth sexy ride!
The best part is we get to keep messing it up, changing it up, doing it better, learning and loving. There is no perfect way to do it. F**k perfect just get out there and drive a little better baby!
