There is a still a part of me creaky with rust, not quite decomposed that clenches onto the inherited shame stories of sickness.
I have fallen sick 3 x since the Solstice, I feel the shame unleashed.
Confusion. Hypocrisy?. Why the healthy lifestyle, if health isn't the result?
What old religious debris hangs on whispering, "I am bad- this a punishment."?
Ruby drives solo to Austin TX. Our road trip left up to her. Healing my body left up to me.
There are other voices soothing, singing, and chanting truths to remind me and bring in presence.
My head keeps asking, what should I do? I hear, "just be" my body resonates.
One of my NSA practioners, Brian Lumb, once explained to me, every time we build another floor on the tower of our being, we immediately return to the basement. The foundations need checking. Are there any cracks?
I've been doing a lot of Self building, expanding and I found some cracks...
I am grateful for the opportunity to be. Just be. To rest, dream, soak in the bath, cocoon at home, and heal.
Ruby Dee, I'm gonna make that road trip to Austin with you one day! Just you wait and see...
