Sweet  Autumn has arrived and we love to sing its praises, the coziness of dawning a sexy sweater, pumpkin spice everything, we can even cuddle in bed again with out sweating all over each other.

Yeah well that’s not the cute stuff I’m going to talk about today. So turn off the smooth jazz and button up your coat.

There’s a cool shadowy undercurrent that hisses quietly in the background. The days are shorter, which means there’s more darkness, more shadow time. Yes more things to run away from and more nooks and crannies to hide our shit in.

 It’s the time of year when the veils between the worlds grow thin. The voices of guides, ghosts, and mystery speak to you from the other side. The leaves of last season are falling leaving you bare and exposed. You want to conceal yourself in a mountain of bite size candy bars and their empty wrapper corpses.

What I’m trying to say is from now til Dec. 31^st your inner demons want to dance. Every self-sabotaging trick in the book is offering itself for the taking as you’re scrambling to keep your most creepy stuff hidden. The habits you gave up ages ago, those little goblins are knocking at your door.

What should you do???? Work more of course. No I’m kidding. I just said that because its one of the masks I have used in the past to dodge my dharma darts and stay hidden. Here are a few ideas I am presently exploring.

1.)  Whoaa Nellie!

Slow down and examine my motives. Just exactly WTH am I doing this for? Honestly what is behind this 3rd glass of wine I’m mentally pouring on a weeknight cozied up next to my laptop?

A quick inquiry can get my sane self back in the drivers seat, avoiding debauchery and wreckage. It can also reveal some emotions I’ve been stifling. Yeah that’s right, cry it out girl!

2.)  Check your peeps!

Surround yourself with people who have your highest in mind. Who you surround yourself not only influences you, it defines you! Who has your back? Who will call you out with love, rather than commiserating with your sob stories?

I recently joined another mastermind circle of strong women who are willing to stretch and shine. This is a safe place to declare what I’m creating, give updates, and state what is in the way (so I can get it out of the way!).

3.)  Just say it already!

Yep I’m talking about the dreaded uncomfortable conversations. The shit in the shadows, the elephant in the room, the honesty you’ve been gagging on for too long, just say it.

It’ll be scary. It might even cause a storm. But that storm will toss truths

onto the shore that will set everyone involved free. Say it with love, keep it simple, straight to the point, and then afford them the time to digest it. This isn’t about being blamey, whiny, or cruel. It is about clearing the air, re-establishing boundaries and finding out what the other person’s needs are.

All that valm you’ve been avoiding is making you a weirdo, but not in a good way. You’re jaded, unavailable, and unable to trust. Let it go, turn the light on and watch the cockroaches scatter!

That’s what I’ve been up to and I suspect it might just be working.

I invite you to harness this full moon’s auspicious potency and elegantly strip off your costume, throw away your bag of tricks and treats, step out of the shadows to embrace the wise witchy ways of your inner knowing.

WTF Moon?!

It’s the full moon again. Not just any full moon, this one is in Scorpio (Hitchcock music plays in background).

 I make no claim to be an authority on Astrology. I am however an authority on myself. What I notice during Scorpio full moons is a pull toward my addictions, old addictions, the ones I thought were long gone. When the light of the full moon shines I see the scars and feel the phantom pains of decades ago. Oh and I’m usually unreasonably horny, lets not leave that awkward truth out.

What I experience over and over again are new layers of old gunk rising to the surface to be cleared. I get to feel it, in order to heal it. That old tug of addiction is just my trusty old hypothalamus standing guard with doomsday warnings telling me, “These untidy emotions are dangerous! Shut it down, it’s not safe. Don’t go there!"

If I slip into a less conscious state (like the 3 drinks later state I kind of want to flee to now) I don’t notice the self sabotaging behaviors contaminating my creation. Here are some of them:

• I stop wanting authentic connection with people and opt for quick shallow chitchat.
• I’m far too busy for meditation
• My food choices become less than nourishing
• I rush through my day
• I stop liking who I am

 The last one, that’s my “oh shit” moment of truth. Other times like right now I am watching, feeling, observing my tendencies and judgments. I’m purposely slowing down, like when I’m hiking and there’s a steep drop off. Because this hike is my life and right now I can feel the edge.

I know I’m not the only one! So if you’re feeling the tug of this moon and your running from the icky residue that’s resurfaced here are my tried and true suggestions:

1. Slow the f**k down!
2. Take a few things off your to-do list
3. Spend some time in nature (even a slow walk in the park will do)
4. Get enough sleep
5. Admit what’s going on
6. Have some great sex with someone you love and you know loves you! 

This too shall pass. As the full moon wanes so does the intensity of how it all feels. We don’t have to understand it, but we can understand ourselves and how we work.

Know thyself. When you get how you work, everything else works! In the meantime F**k perfect and stay free!

When the wild woman wakes!

Oh my, I found her. I had forgotten all about her. 

I had to be in sick in a beach front bed in Troncones, Mexico to find her. My dreams came lucid and lurid repeating themselves and tormenting me with shadows that day.

In between dreams and coughing fits I frantically scribbled words that seemed like nonsense, but willful in their urgency to find paper. 

For months I'd been aching, longing for something more. My foundation was shifting and what satiated me this last decade now left me parched. 

Some of you have known me through the decades. You may remember the wild child I was. I've got so many compliments on the ways I've tamed myself, settled down, became trustworthy and reliable. It's true, I'm on time now. I call people back. I rarely find myself roaming hillsides basking in a psychedelic glow anymore. A lot of that feels good. And yet there has been a compromise. That day of sickness and the torrent of dreams roused my inner wild woman out of her slumber. She felt like a cool salve on the burning skin of my longing I've had for more. The inspecting, blaming, and second guessing I've done in every domain of my life brought no answers only judgements. Without logic or expectation she invited me to lay on the beach at night, sing to the stars, and remember the soft animal of my being. So I did.

It's a homecoming, that whispers of full moons, fires, dirt under fingernails, and tangled hair. 

The morning after I met my friend Ignacio on the beach. I asked to see the jewelry he makes. I wanted to buy a ring to honor this part of me. One ring picked me. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen. I asked him how much. He told me, "Keep it. It is your ring." 

Tonight  is the full moon. I'm back in Washington, it's cool and wet. It's a beautiful night for a welcome back ritual!