New Year's Wish

The collective sigh is reverberating across the country... The Holiday season is almost through. The stressful ones are over (unless you are hosting a New Year's Eve party, which I am not!) . I love this gelatinous week in between the 26th and the 2nd. There are still sugar and fat to be found in most homes. The work schedule is lax, or at least most of us pretend it is. Throw another log on the fire, put the kettle on for another cup of tea, or better yet how about some of that homemade Baileys? Lounging and general slothfulness is accepted. (In my house it is encouraged, unless you're a teenager, and that is the only gear you ever move in).

Then what? The mania begins for most of us. Lofty expectations of oneself begin to hail down. The clean fresh start of a New Year is already polluted with pressure. Week one's dogma is week three's apathy or despair.

I know, I do it too. Already my mind is poking my relaxing week in the ribs whispering curse words like, "cellulite - mucking out the house - paperwork" etc. "This year is going to be...blahblahblah"

I am going to remind myself again and again (It's like brushing my teeth, once isn't enough.)

Destruction happens in seconds. Creation takes time. When we decide to implement change, we want it NOW and we want lasting results. Think of any time in your life when there has been lasting change that happened immediately. I can think of the sudden death of loved ones, loss of a job, and cutting my hair off (no really, I mean ALL of it OFF!) that felt like it lasted forever.

Then I think of building businesses, relationships, or growing my hair back out. The headway that was made bit by bit day after day. Small, consistent, and less than spectacular. This is the kind of change that is actually sustainable. There is name or a method to this approach, "Kaizen".

Earlier this holiday season I noticed myself feeling lousy because I was eating more junk than my body is accustomed to. My intellect donned it's dictator mustache and declared, "That's it! Enough with the garbage gut! You are allowed nothing but water and kale, before you poison yourself and rot out your teeth."

My inner child FREAKED out, immediately seeking fudge and revenge. Thankfully a shower of sanity fell from the heavens, resulting in Kaizen: "If I eat a piece of fruit each day and 1 raw veggie, go ahead have the cookies!" whew. Amazing. The charge around the junk food was gone. I didn't even want the fudge anymore. (Yes I did have some the other day) My point being, this is manageable. I like fruit, especially with breakfast. I also enjoy snacking on carrots, celery, and peppers. For me this was so easy, I could not fail. Did I lose weight? nope. Did I gain weight? nope. Did I enjoy myself, food, drink, friends and family? YES!

As I move into the new year I will continue this practice, even when the cookies are gone. I like the habit I am creating, It feels good in my mind and body. I have not yet decided what my next Kaizen step will be this January, but I do know it's going to be easy, and I'm going to succeed!

This year I propose trying this approach. Experience a way of being softer, gentler, steady, gradual, thoughtful, and probably successful.

Pick one thing, and start there. Make it so easy you can not possibly fail.

Happy New Year!

What does Sacred mean to you?

What happened to Sacred Ceremony?

There are still remnants of the rich tapestry of Ritual and Ceremony lingering...

The wedding ceremony, baptism, bar/bat-mitzvah, graduation are some of the remaining threads of culture marking our passage through life's doorways.

Many of us have left the religions of our heritage and in doing so, we have thrown out Ceremony and Ritual.

Can it still exist without religion? What if it could be larger, inclusive, modern, ancient, serious, fun, or anything you desired it to be?

Inside the details, lives the cause to be witnessed, celebrated, and supported.

Ritual is an act of consciously opening ourselves to the presence of our own Spirit. Pressing pause on the rushed routine of life to say, "Hey wait a minute. Check this out, something is happening and this matters!"

We design rituals to bring ourSelves to a deeper place of reverence. Creating physical metaphors to signify, acknowledge, and honor the change that is underway.

Ceremony holds ourSelf, loved ones, and our Ritual, in celebration.

Western Culture is starving for the PAUSE. We are begging to be witnessed, upheld, and supported as we embark on our conscious journey of Life!

In this melting pot we are privileged by the influence of so many cultures. If we have no link to the ways of our ancestors, we can still can learn, divine, and collage our own rituals, lush with all that speaks directly to our own soul.

More Than A One Story House

I recently fell in love with the left handed no looking technique.

I drew, painted, laughed and wept. (Special Thanks to Barbara Krauss creativity Coach and artist! www.barbarakrauss.com)

As I prepare to move out of my home that I love, and open up to my next, this came out of me and I am grateful for the medium.

Here is the story, spotted inside the house:

"I have held children growing, tea kettle whistles, and turkey's roasting. I heard the snoring, sobbing, as well as the muffled moans of so much lovemaking. I have worn your bright colors, been caressed by laughter. I could not help but to fall deeply in love with all of you. You have been my family.

I will move with you, hidden in the photo albums, and forever the back drop to your child's memories. Just as you will be kept safe here. Your dance deeply impressed upon my floorboards. Your dreams and your gratitude, the sweetest residue, tucked neatly into my nooks and crannies.

I am well seasoned with love and celebration, prepared to wrap myself around the arriving hearts, dreams, and the next story.

I am more than a one story house."

Thank you for witnessing

The Gift

This stunning painting is called "Sunburst". The beautiful artist is Terri Gerard.



If we are lucky; if we are intentional; if we are growing; if we are
searching; if we are relentless; we may, in our lives be offered a gift.
That gift will not necessarily be wrapped with shiny paper, ribbons and a
big satin bow. That gift may look like anything but a gift. But indeed it
is a gift. The gift I am talking about is the gift of self-reflection.



It may come in the form of a loved one who reacts to you, or who attacks
you. It may come in the form of a friend who embraces you, or rejects you.
The gift may arrive as a business deal that you close, or that you lose. IT
may come with the loss of a loved one that is close to you, or with the
success of a stranger on American Idol. But if you are fortunate, or
intentional; if you are relentlessly searching, and hell-bent on growing, it
will come to you. And this gift will be the realization that your response
is all about you.



For the uninitiated, the prayerless, those victimized by life and those who
are simple not ready, the fit will be offered. It has been offered to each
of us a hundred times a day, a thousand times a month.
How is this possible? That we would be offered a gift but say "no"? This
is part of the gift. A gift can be offered, but until I am ready to receive
it, the gift will be sent back: no such number. Moved, left no forwarding
address.



The beginnings of receiving are those moments where we notice: boy, I really
got hooked there. Or, I wonder why that upset me so much? These are the
beginnings of the gift that keeps on giving: the gift of noticing, of
awareness. Of taking responsibility for our own experience of life and
seeking to expand our ability to receive more and more, so that we can
become more and more. Being responsible for more and more is the game.
One cannot receive without being simultaneously able to hold more, and less.



The alternatives to receiving the gift? A blameless life full of blame for
others. Judging others and remaining separate from them. Pitying yourself
or others and becoming pitiful. Criticizing others and becoming
unacceptable to yourself. Playing alone in the sandbox for fear of exposing
your weakness to yourself.



Here we are, on our journey. If you find yourself in tears, in the flow, in
the arms of another man or woman, know that you have found yourself, with your
million and one reactions, predictions, declarations and early dismissals.
Know that these are not the gifts. Your receiving of these happenings with
your awareness is the gift. To be able to receive the ripple effects of
every action and reaction is the gift and it is offered to you in every
moment. This is a treasure. You are the mine.



IT happens for those persistent enough to look
into the next dimension, where life is the mirror of you.



May you continue to expand your tenderness, your ability to feel, your
asking for and receiving, and all the ins and outs of a life lived fully.
This is my prayer for usall tonight. Amen. Awomen. Aho.

Writing by Karen Blum RadicalDander@blogspot.com

Dancing For Darfur

Day 4 of my teeny tiny commitment to raise funds for displaced persons in a women's refugee camp in Darfur, that just happens to be changing my life...

www.darfurpeace.org/programs/womens-center

This is turning out to be a wild ride on the home front. My husband and son have unexpectedly got involved.

On the second night, having not yet developed a routine time for this dancing, I came home exhausted and ready to crawl into bed and slip into heavenly slumber. (Just now as I wrote those words a wave of gratitude for having a bed, a deliciously warm cozy soft dry bed, enveloped me. How many nights do I take that for granted?!)

My husband reminded me, "Ahem- didn't you make a promise to dance daily for that Darfur fund raiser?" Uhoh. *gulp* My mind raced for a cop out, something along the lame lines of I'll dance twice as long tomorrow started to form in my mouth. He cut me off with this save the promise invitation, "Come on I'll dance with you!"

As I shuffled thru my ipod searching for the right musical choice, my son hijacked the DJ role and announced, "Mom, if you let me pick the music I'll dance with you too!"

That settled it. For 3 evenings we have turned our living room into a most unlikely dance club. Songs from Jack Black, Flight of the Concord, to Usher have been the soundtrack of this nightly event. This wasn't quite what I had in mind when I signed on. I imagined mySelf lost in the rhythmic sounds of world beats, drumming, chants, and some Nia blends.

This is perfect! All day I look forward to this time together, laughing, busting out sweet faux break dancing moves, and being supported by the 2 most important men in my life! I am so blessed!

Check out the fundraiser, get involved! www.vividlywoman.com/darfur.htm

Stretching ourSelves

There we are! (We are missing a few). Circles to Spirals Sweaty Goddesses surging with life and renewed passion for Sisterhood and ourSelves!

We danced, played, were in ritual, nature, and bliss last weekend!

Here's what I notice after a fabulous weekend of expansion:

I walk back into my life and it feels too small. I grow each time I surrender mySelf to another retreat. No matter what my role at the retreat, Growth is inevitable and somewhat uncomfortable. (Yet not growing is far more painful.)

I feel like Alice in Wonderland, bumping my head on the ceiling of my old life, cramped, and awkward. It takes a few days of maneuvering, lots of rest, writing, oh and let's not forget the crying. Yes the unexplained grief, Who knows? It's just my process. Your is probably quite different. I'm not setting this up for a good sale am I?

Wait I'm not finished... On the other side of it... where I am today are:

waves of creativity

awareness of pure potentiality

elation at the view from up here

a deep calm grounded knowing

It's delicious. Oh yeah, now I remember who I am. I do have a definite purpose, even some clarity, and some kick ass tools I am wielding with ninja like precision!

Kindness Poem

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.

Naomi Shihab Nye