Speak up Sister!

It was my day! The live music from 2 of my favorite dancing bands, Ruby Dee and The Snake Handlers, and The Dusty 45's had the place whirling with sweaty smiling swing dancers. 300 of our favorite people had arrived to eat, drink and make merry at our big bash wedding reception. I was having the time of my life, right up until I heard my name announced. I was being invited on stage to introduce my dear friend and amazing dancer, Helene Eriksen and her dances of the East. "Do what? TALK?" *gulp*. My insides began to quiver, my heart galloped, and my mouth went dry as the Sahara. I felt my feet walking my body up there. My hand was holding the mike. There I stood, paralyzed, frozen, the only parts of me moving were the woozy melting of my insides. 
SILENCE. More of the long awkward eternal pause... 
Nothing came out of me. Thankfully Ruby Dee recognized this was going nowhere fast and swooped in to save the day. I don't remember much beyond that, I was surprised and confused. What just happened? I'm not a shy girl, where did my voice go? What just happened, or I guess, didn't happen? 


That was 6 yrs ago. It was a big loud embarrassing wake up call and the catalyst to part of the journey I've been on ever since:
Finding my voice, trusting the value of my message, and staying in my body all the while!


On the path of embodiment, we open our intuitive center and we unlock our voice. This is far more than just speaking our mind. We begin to trust our own connection to Source and understand our message matters! 


The 5 textures are a superb tool to support the evolution of communication.

5 Textures of Communication

Sense: sensing your message and noticing the felt body sensations of your words. (before you say them.)

Sensing outward to know if this person is open to receiving your message. 

Ground: surrendering to the truth of you own words, trusting

Mobilize: from a place of deep meaning, you move into the action of speaking

Harness: breath pause, plenty of time, noticing where you have an agenda, becoming centered again and again. 

Express: Speaking consciously from your whole being in confidence, and love. 

Open to earnestly listen 

Sense: Sensing inward, finding your center, a place neutrality. Noting is there charge, agenda, expectation? Staying present to Self and Other.

Ground: Dropping your roots, surrendering a need to be right. Staying present to Self and Other.

Mobilize: Connecting to the meaning of this relationship, the meaning of this conversation. Opening in the 3 power centers, to whole body listening, active listening. Staying present to Self and Other.

Harness: Breathing, resisting an urge to defend. Staying curious. Allowing his words to land. Staying present to Self and Other.

Express: Gratitude for his expression. Conscious of the space/container you're creating for safe expression to unfold.  Staying present to Self and Other.

Is your message being heard?

Body like a machine, or Body like a temple?

There are two ways of being with your body;
● Use your body like a machine
● Inhabit your body like a temple

Use Your Body Like a

Machine
When you look after your body with the intention to make it look good, toned and slim, and beat it into submission through arduous exercise instead of creative and sensual exploration, you are using it like a machine. There is little listening, little consideration of the body’s wisdom and most if not all of your focus is on the aesthetic of the body.
In this way of being with your body, you may find yourself judging, berating, blaming and abusing this human organism, if it does not conform to your ideals (and the images of feminine perfection that are promoted tirelessly in the media). You determine what is true for you based on what the outside world tells you and ignore your own thoughts, opinions, preferences and the crucial element, your intuitive wisdom.
Though you may enjoy sexual intimacy with your partner, you find you are hyper focused on the physical release, instead of the building and sustaining of arousal. You may notice yourself with a wandering mind, feeling obligated instead of inspired to accommodate your partner’s needs, thinking “oh well,” when your own needs aren’t met, and disregarding the sacredness of your own sensuality.

When you honor your body like the temple that it is, and seek to notice and respond to its subtle communications to you about its physical, emotional and psychological state, you are inhabiting your body, living from inside, intuitively, rather than from outside, gazing in from the periphery of the sensory experience.
Still choosing to engage in the activities that keep it healthy like exercise and eating wisely is important, however when you are honoring your physical temple you are more motivated by what you feel and sense, versus what you see in the mirror, and how it measures up to others and to the airbrushed images in the media. In honoring your female temple you also value the emotional and psychological benefits of the level of integrity you experience in being true to yourself, versus internalizing the opinions and standards of others around you.
To inhabit your body is to covet sensual and sexual pleasure and know the value of sustaining versus discharging arousal. You experience your body’s sensual expression as the divine dancing through you and your union with someone you care for or love deeply.
The two ways of being with your body I’ve described above are extremes. It’s unlikely that anyone will be just one or the other. The reality is that most of us dance somewhere between the two, body as machine, body as temple. Unfortunately it would be fair to say that most women tend to lean toward the first extreme, using your body like a machine. I believe that this tendency is a factor in the proliferation of depression, discontent and supreme isolation that many women experience in our world today. Despite the great strides that we as women have made through the decades, it is this disassociation that is hindering further and swifter evolution of the consciousness paradigm shift where peace and prosperity are experienced globally. Rather than just looking at our own blessed lives to measure the evolution of consciousness, we need to also remember the vast number of women who still suffer worldwide. This reality reminds us that we still have far to go before our work as a fully embraced, accepting and inhabiting female community is done. And if you believe in the transpersonal power that we each wield, you will certainly understand that your awakening to this embodiment is an awakening for all women.

Psychology studies show that young girls by the age of 11 have almost entirely stopped referring inward for their own truths, opinions, preferences and values,and almost exclusively refer to the outside world be it family, society or media influences to determine for themselves how they interpret who they are. Educating these young goddesses to move towards extreme number two serves to guide them and all women to look inside ourselves for the answers of our nature and our well being.

The practice of referencing inward, is a body centered way of being that I call Embodied Power.
When we practice looking inside for our personal power, our truth, our innate wisdom, we are practicing embodiment. When we take it a step further and dance that wisdom, we are using our embodied awareness as our creative source and inspiration. I use dance here to refer to any authentic expression be it movement of the body, writing, coaching, mothering or the managing of a company. Once embodied and danced, you are living that very wisdom and power, and can claim the role of embodied leader because of the high level of truth and integrity that you radiate and inspire.

As the founder of Vividly Woman, I actualized for my community the Vividly Woman Embodied Leader training; this program guides women back home to this quality of leadership I’ve shared. We begin with the initiation weekend retreat, Dance Your Power, where participants are intimately reintroduced to their three vital centers of embodied power; sensual, emotional and intuitive. The women who continue to further their learning through the three remaining modules that make up the leadership training program, will 1. radically excavate the authentic and unique truth living in these three centers within, 2. profoundly nourish these three long ignored places and 3. lovingly heal the personal wounds that have debilitated and frozen them most of their lives. Through this work I have had the honor and privilege of facilitating and witnessing tremendous courage and devotion of so many women who’s lives have been forever changed.

The journey of embodied awakening is a lush and winding path, a fertile adventure of birthing and re-birthing yourself, and one I am blessed to travel with brave and beautiful women I call sisters. It is a dance of remembering YOUR vital woman aliveness; spiraling, diving and reaching from deep inside the blessed temple that is your body.

Written by Leela Francis Leelafrancis.com