This latest surprise came after spending a week away from 2 of my loves. One being my husband, the other being dance. While my son and I were enjoying my best friend and her family in Sant Fe (Il Vicino, you'll always be my favorite Italian restaurant!) , my man was enjoying a weekend dance workshop with the world champions of west coast swing, and most of our dance community!
Which leads me to my admission of, often times feeling left out and angry when I don't get to be doing all the fun things everywhere all the time. My inner 2 yr old comes out to reek havoc. This has been a pattern that I've played with more times than I can count. But... But...
All week I kept waiting for the sudden pang, the mounting panic ("everyone is having more fun than I am"). Even if in states of bliss this pattern has struck like lightening. I have a sort of PTS about it. Each time I checked in, the feeling was genuine happiness. I was happy he was able to grow, to learn, to laugh, to dance and play! Yay! (ummm I think they call that love).
He looked into my eyes the other night telling me bits and pieces of the weekend, and it just slipped out. "I had the best dance of my life..." okay, that woke up the 2 yr old! Time slowed way down, I looked at my husband and saw the childlike glimmer in his eyes as he boasted and glowed. A tenderness sprang forth and I knew it was ok, it wasn't about me. My inner 2 yr old wanted to be the best dance of his life yes it's true...but hey his life isn't over! I shushed her and she fell back to sleep. I held the space for his story, for his accomplishment, and my heart opened back up! WOW!
I haven't mentioned any of this to him, it's my goofy evolution game. But I think the excitement he had as he shared with me, might've felt a little like the excitement I feel right now sharing with you!
